Our sense of self-worth is the single most important determinant of the health, abundance, and joy we allow into our lives.Dan Millman
Self-worth is the understanding that you are good enough, valuable, and necessary in this world. As the name implies, it originates from within and it determines how you think and feel about yourself as well as how you believe you should be treated. It comes from understanding, accepting, loving, and being compassionate with yourself. When you recognize your self-worth, you know that you deserve good things such as; respect, love, success, and any other achievements, despite other people’s opinions.
Failure to recognize your self-worth can have a negative impact on your life as other people might want to take advantage of you, abuse you, or take you for granted. If you don’t value yourself, you will most likely also lack self-esteem, self-confidence, self-love, and self-compassion. You do not know your worth, and thus others do the same. Anyone treating you differently (as if you are worthy) might have you confused and questioning why they think you deserve it.
This post will provide you 5 ways to recognize your self-worth and start believing that you’re good enough.
Why You Don’t Recognize Your Self-Worth
How you grow up plays a significant role in how you turn out and behave in the future and could be one of the reasons why you don’t recognize your worth. For instance, if you grew up in a household where you were constantly put down, criticized, or you had to do or achieve something to be loved, you might think you do not deserve anything better, even as an adult. When someone rejects you, you might feel like it is your fault and believe they did it because you were not good enough or did something they didn’t like.
Society sets unrealistic expectations that lead to social comparisons and dissatisfaction that can be a contributor to why you don’t recognize your self-worth. It can result in your directing negative opinions and thoughts inwards, believing what other people say about you to be the truth.
For instance, the trending diet culture can lead to discrimination of larger-bodied people, making them develop insecurities and determine their self-worth depending on how much they weigh or how thin they look. Also, there will always be someone else doing better than you, thus comparing yourself with them can lead to feelings of inferiority that lower your sense of self-worth.
- Past traumatic experience
Other reasons for a low sense of self-worth are traumatic events that happened you in the past. For instance, being a victim of domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and bullying, can make you lose your voice and affect how you view yourself. It can be difficult for you to accept someone good being genuinely interested in you without any ulterior motive and you might find yourself pushing the people that love you away.
How to Know You Have a Low Sense of Self-Worth
- You are a people-pleaser and put your own needs last
- You allow other people’s opinions of you to affect what you feel and think of yourself
- You find it hard to take compliments
- You can’t say no even when you don’t approve of something
- You let others walk all over you and take you for granted
- You do not believe you deserve to be treated better
- You undercharge your services
- You don’t stand up for yourself when oppressed or when you don’t get your due
- You have poor mental health and mood swings, such as negative thought patterns, self-destructive behaviors, sadness, or depression.
How to Recognize Your Self-Worth
- Boost your self-acceptance through affirmations & mantras
You are what you think you are. The biggest challenge you have to overcome to know your worth is in your head, your thoughts. It is not easy to turn negative thoughts into positive ones, but you can do it through affirmations and mantras. When you say something to yourself often enough, you start to believe in it.
Prepare a list of affirmations to remind you who you are and why you deserve better, then recite them daily to start believing you are good enough. They lift your spirits and shift your mindset, and thus your behavior and thinking patterns. Some affirmations to try for self-acceptance and self-love include saying things like;
- I embrace and accept myself the way I am
- I am worthy of love/success/happiness
- I respect myself and so should others
- I am choosing to love myself
- I am perfect and whole the way I am
- I can create the life I desire
- I deserve the success I have
- I have a purpose in this world
- I am enough
- Building on your strengths
When feeling a low sense of self-worth, you focus mainly on your failures and weaknesses, forgetting that you also have strong qualities. Do some self-reflection to identify what you are good at and build on those strengths. Engage in more activities that make you feel good about yourself and those that remind you of your ability to succeed and you will learn how to recognize your self-worth. Not only will it boost your self-confidence but also how good you feel about yourself.
To build your self-worth, you have to accept yourself entirely, including your strengths and weaknesses. The secret is not to let your weaknesses hold you back.
- Speak up for yourself and learn to say no
If you want to learn how to build your self-worth, you have to stand up and speak up for yourself when you don’t agree with something. Additionally, don’t feel afraid to express your opinions on matters that affect you.
Also, set boundaries and say no to things you are not comfortable doing, such as extra workload and things that go against your principles. Doing this shows others that you have dignity and self-respect, and you recognize your self-worth. Self-respect attracts other people’s respect.
- Redefine your idea of success
Without material properties, who would you be? Would you still be confident? Or do you place your worth on material possessions and achievements? Who you are when external factors are out of the equation is your true self. Because of their impermanence, the things you have shouldn’t define your self-worth. The only permanent thing is who you are deep inside.
No outside forces can make you accept that you are good enough. It has to come from inside you.Tweet
Some other aspects not to define your self-worth by, include; your appearance, grades, social media following, your work and education achievements, and other people’s opinions. You should stop comparing yourself with other people and instead focus on what makes you feel fulfilled.
Read Also: 4 Types of Wealth: Can You Achieve Them All?
- Practice self-love and self-compassion
Before looking for love externally, start with yourself. One of the main causes of having a low sense of self-worth is the lack of self-love and judging yourself too harshly. You are your worst critic and often beat yourself up for failures even when you have no control over the outcome. When learning how to develop your self-worth, you have to be more compassionate towards yourself and forgive yourself for past mistakes.
To change from being a people-pleaser, start putting yourself first before helping others and you will recognize your self-worth. Be kind and treat yourself the same way you do others.
Self-worth is one skill everyone should have, and sadly not everyone does. Knowing your worth can be the determining factor of whether you will be successful in life or not. There are numerous benefits of knowing your worth, and by not valuing yourself, you give your power away and lose your identity. When you realize your self-worth, you know who you are, your strengths and weaknesses, and what you stand for. Reclaim your power today by using the above 5 ways to start believing in yourself and recognize your self-worth.
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE AND RESPECT! YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED WELL!
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