8 Intrusive Questions to Never Ask Anyone and Why
Almost everyone has had the unfortunate experience of being asked intrusive questions about their life. This is because humans are innately curious creatures and they feel the need to know what is going on in each other’s lives. Asking questions is one way we get to know and understand the people we interact with.
However, some of the questions people ask, even when they have no malicious intent, could intrude into someone’s privacy or hurt them. For this reason, it is important to know the intrusive questions you should not ask people because they might embarrass them or make them feel uncomfortable. So, in this post, we discuss some examples of intrusive questions to never ask anyone and why you shouldn’t.
READ ALSO: 10+ ‘Embarrassing’ Health Issues That Are More Common Than You Think
Intrusive Questions You Should Never Ask People and Why
- Why are you still single?
When you reach a particular age or if you look a certain way, especially if you are pretty, people begin to snoop into your love life, and if you are single, they question why. But asking someone’s relationship status is rude.
It is one of the intrusive questions to never ask anyone because a person’s love life is their own business. They should have the freedom to choose when and if they want to be in a relationship without the pressure to be in one because of nosy people.
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- Why aren’t you married yet?
Just like asking why someone is still single, asking people who are single or dating why they are not yet married, or when they are getting married are also intrusive questions you should never ask anyone.
A person or couple’s reasons for not getting married are their own private business, and they shouldn’t feel unnecessary pressure to get married if they are not ready yet.
This is among the intrusive questions not to ask unmarried couples because it can strain their relationship if they don’t know how to answer this question or if one or both are not yet ready for this step.
The decision whether to get married or not isn’t a light one and shouldn’t be made under pressure or just because others expect it.
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- When are you going to have a baby/another baby?
You have finally gotten married and eliminated the first two rude questions. The next intrusive questions people ask are, when you are having a baby or if you already had one when you are getting another one.
Out of all the intrusive questions to never ask anyone, this is the worst because there are so many reasons why someone might not have kids. For starters, a couple might not be ready to have kids yet for their own reasons, and asking them makes them have to explain or make up excuses for not having children.
This question can also be hurtful to some because it might not be their choice to not have kids. For some people, having a baby is not as simple as deciding when they want to have one, and it just happens according to their plans.
Many couples struggle with infertility issues and health problems that can make it difficult to have kids and this could be their reason for not having one yet.
If they have been trying to get pregnant for a while unsuccessfully or recently had a miscarriage, someone asking when they are having a baby is like a slap to the face. This is one of the reasons why you should never ask people when they are having a baby/another baby.
It could also be a couple’s choice not to have kids, and asking this intrusive question could make them feel like their family is incomplete or they are doing something wrong by choosing not to have kids.
Also, you should never ask someone if they are pregnant if you suspect them to be because it might not be the case. Instead of asking, wait for them to tell you if they choose to.
When and if people choose to have a baby is their business. You should put this at the top of your list of examples of intrusive questions to never ask people.
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- Questions about weight
How much do you weigh? Have you lost weight? Did you gain weight? Why are you not losing weight?
Weight is a sensitive topic for a lot of people. The above are some intrusive questions to never ask anyone about their weight because they can affect their body image and cause insecurities and self-esteem issues.
For example, asking someone who has been trying to lose weight if they have gained weight could crush their morale and motivation to keep working towards their desired weight.
It might feel like their efforts are not paying off. The same applies when asking an underweight person struggling to gain weight if they have lost more weight.
You don’t know what could have caused someone to lose or gain weight or if it was even intentional, so it is best to avoid asking them these intrusive questions. If they want you to know, they will tell you.
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- Are you self-conscious about…?
If you want someone to feel self-conscious about something, ask them if they are self-conscious about it. This inappropriate question is often asked by ‘concerned’ friends, and it can make you feel anxious, insecure, or lower your self-esteem.
If you were not self-conscious about whatever they are asking about before, you sure are now because they made you think you should be.
Some things you should never ask people if they are self-conscious about include, aspects of their appearance, accent, body shape, and weight. Just don’t go there!
READ ALSO: 11 Types of Toxic Friends: Signs and How to Deal with Them
- How much money do you make/have?
Other people’s finances are not your concern, and asking about someone’s income or how they spend their money are examples of intrusive questions to never ask anyone.
Don’t ask people about their income unless you are asking in order to give them a better job or money. It is rude and can make them uncomfortable.
Other intrusive questions to never ask anyone about their finances are how much they paid or spent on something. Say, for example, buying a house, vehicle, gadgets, school fees, or just anything else. These rude questions make people feel judged for either spending too much or too little on things.
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- Intrusive questions about intimate details of other people’s love life
How good is he/she in bed? How many people have you slept with? Why do you love him/her? Are you gay?
There is no good reason for you to want to know private intimate details about another’s love life. Someone’s private life is none of your business and these are intrusive questions to never ask anyone.
Being judgmental and asking someone why they love who they love or what they see in someone are also intrusive questions you should never ask people.
Everyone has a right to love whoever they love, and you shouldn’t make them question their judgment and decision to love who they love. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like that person; all that matters is that they love them.
READ ALSO: 6 Reasons Why You Should Keep Your Personal Life Private (and How to Do It)
- How old are you?
Stop asking people how old they are! It is impolite. Unless there is a legal reason to ask the age or card someone, for instance, when driving and buying alcoholic drinks or cigarettes, avoid this intrusive question.
Impolite questions about age are irritating because someone might feel like they are being judged for how old they are or how they look. For instance, asking someone who feels like they look older than they actually are can make them feel more self-conscious and insecure.
Another reason why this is one of the intrusive questions to never ask anyone is that asking someone’s age makes them feel like you are trying to measure their accomplishments against their age to determine how well they are doing with their life.
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Take Away
Even though it is human nature to be curious and want to learn everything they can, asking overly invasive questions puts people on the spot and makes them feel uncomfortable.
The above are only a few of the intrusive questions you should never ask people, but there are many more awkward questions not to ask.
One should do more research to find out more intrusive questions to never ask anyone and avoid making the mistake of hurting other people because of curiosity.
What are other intrusive questions people ask that get on your nerves? What questions do you usually avoid asking people?
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So precise. These intrusive questions are usually intimidating and some insulting. They bring awkwardness and in some cases break friendships.
Very true! We should be more careful with the questions we ask people and consider how they can affect them. Thank you so much for reading, Kinge!❤
Yes we should 🙂, welcome ❤
So interesting, these have really opened my eyes to how frequently we can find ourselves in such awkward encounters. Half the time I think it’s just been instilled into us through generations that these are acceptable questions to ask. I must admit if I think someone is a similar age to me I will ask them how old they are just trying to find common ground but I see how that can also be wrong in many ways.
I have been a culprit of asking people some of these questions too. The best thing we can do is to avoid asking people personal questions and instead wait for them to volunteer information if they choose to. Thank you so much for reading, Olivia!❤
Yes that’s some valuable advice i definitely will be taking forward thanks Sheri!
100% agree. Here’s one that irks me: “how much did you pay for …” (especially a big ticket item). I’ll tell you I paid 2 bucks for bread, I won’t tell you how much I paid for my car or my house or that dress …). And in today’s world, “did you take the vaccine” is fast becoming one of those “none o’ your bizniz” questions (it’s been so politicized it’s becoming divisive and could start a fight ☹️)
Like if you’re seriously interested in the price of something someone has, you can avoid asking them how much they paid by just reading the label or brand name of the thing and looking up it’s price.
The vaccine question has started getting on my nerves too!😠
Exactly. Just give a compliment and leave it be. Sometimes folk say, “oh I got it at …” and I ask trust Siri to find out more!! Teehee 😹
See…so simple and no awkwardness😉
Yes, avoid asking people ‘ personal’ questions. Never ask what you yourself are not come answering.One must understand the difference between private, personal and public life if an individual and restrict themselves to what is seen and avoid being too curious to know more.
Stay blessed Sheri.
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I like the idea of putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes. If we wouldn’t be comfortable answering the same questions, we shouldn’t ask others.
Thank you so much for reading, Jas. Stay blessed too🙏
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Omg yes, yes yes!!! Just abolish these questions. They make me fume and the judgements that come. Oh and the unsolicited advise!!!!
Oh yeah, I forgot about the unsolicited advice that accompanies these questions. It’s just so rude! Thanks so much for reading!❤
All of these are so accurate! Although to be honest, I don’t know how people would think it was acceptable to ask any of these to begin with unless you’re close friends with someone
Close friends and family are often the ones who hurt or embarrass you with intrusive questions. Thanks so much for reading!❤