8 Intrusive Questions to Never Ask Anyone and Why

Humans are innately curious creatures and feel the need to know what is going on in each other’s lives. Asking questions is one way we get to know and understand the people we interact with. However, some questions people ask, even when they have no malicious intent, could intrude into someone’s privacy or hurt them.

For this reason, it is important to know the questions not to ask people to avoid making them uncomfortable or feel awkward. With this in mind, here are examples of intrusive questions to never ask anyone and why you shouldn’t.

Intrusive Questions You Should Never Ask People and Why

  1. Why are you still single?

When you reach a particular age or if you look a certain way, especially if you are pretty, people begin to snoop into your love life, and if you are single, they question why. Asking someone’s relationship status is rude and one of the awkward questions to never ask anyone.

A person’s love life is their own business, and they should have the freedom to choose when and if they want to be in a relationship without the pressure to be in one because of nosy people.

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  1. Why aren’t you married yet?
Intrusive Questions You Should Never Ask People and Why
Photo by Marko Klaric from Pexels

Just like asking why someone is still single, asking people who are single or dating why they are not yet married or when they are getting married are rude questions you should never ask people. A person or couple’s reasons for not getting married are their own private business, and they shouldn’t feel unnecessary pressure to get married if they are not ready yet. 

This is among the intrusive questions not to ask unmarried couples because it can strain their relationship if they don’t know how to answer this question or if one or both are not yet ready for this step.

The decision whether to get married or not isn’t a light one and shouldn’t be made under pressure or just because others expect it.

  1. When are you going to have a baby/another baby?
Woman Carrying A Baby
Photo by Kristina Paukshtite from Pexels

You have finally gotten married and eliminated the first two rude questions. The next intrusive questions people ask are, when you are having a baby or if you already had one when you are getting another one. Out of all the unacceptable questions to ask someone, this is the worst. For starters, a couple might not be ready to have kids yet for their own reasons, and asking them makes them have to explain or make up excuses for not having kids.

This question can also be hurtful because there might be other reasons for not having kids. For some people, having a baby is not as simple as deciding when they want to have one, and it just happening according to their plans. Many couples struggle with infertility issues and health problems that can make it difficult to have kids and this could be their reason for not having one yet. If they have been trying to get pregnant for a while unsuccessfully or recently had a miscarriage, someone asking when they are having a baby is like a slap to the face. This is one of the reasons why you should never ask people when they are having a baby/another baby.

It could be a couple’s choice not to have kids too, and asking this intrusive question could make them feel like their family is incomplete or doing something wrong by choosing not to have kids. 

Also, you should never ask someone if they are pregnant if you suspect them to be because it might not be the case. Wait for them to tell you if they are pregnant instead of asking.

When and if people choose to have a baby is their business. You should put this at the top of your list of examples of intrusive questions to never ask people.

  1. Questions about weight
From above of unrecognizable person in socks standing on electronic weighing scales while checking weight on parquet during weight loss
Photo by Andres Ayrton from Pexels

How much do you weigh? Have you lost weight? Did you gain weight? Why are you not losing weight? Weight is a sensitive topic for a lot of people. The above are some intrusive questions to never ask anyone about their weight because they can affect their body image and cause insecurities and self-esteem issues.

For example, asking someone who has been trying to lose weight if they have gained weight could crush their morale and motivation to keep working towards their desired weight. It might feel like their efforts are not paying off. The same applies when asking an underweight person struggling to gain weight if they have lost more weight. 

You don’t know what could have caused someone to lose or gain weight or if it was even intentional, so it is best to avoid asking them these intrusive questions. They will tell you if they want you to know.

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  1. Are you self-conscious about …?

If you want someone to feel self-conscious about something ask them if they are self-conscious about it. This inappropriate question is often asked by ‘concerned’ friends, and it can make you feel anxious, insecure, or lower your self-esteem. 

If you were not self-conscious about whatever they are asking about before, you sure are now because they made you think you should be. 

Some things you should never ask people if they are self-conscious about include, aspects of their appearance, accent, body shape, and weight. Just don’t go there!

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  1. How much money do you make/have?
Money envelope with American dollar banknotes on white surface
Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

Other people’s finances are not your concern, and asking about someone’s income and how they spend their money are examples of intrusive questions not to ask anyone. Never ask people about their income unless you are asking in order to give them a better job. It is rude and can make them uncomfortable.

Other rude questions that should never be asked about someone’s finances are how much they paid or spent on something. Say, for example, house, vehicle, gadgets, school fees, or just anything else. These questions make people feel judged for either spending too much or too little on things. 

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  1. Intrusive questions about intimate details of other people’s love life

How good is he/she in bed? How many people have you slept with? Why do you love him/her? Are you gay? There is no good reason for you to want to know private intimate details about another’s love life, so never ask these questions because they are none of your business.

Asking people why they love who they love or what they see in someone are also rude questions you should never ask people. Everyone has a right to love whoever they love, and you shouldn’t make them question their judgment and decision to love who they love. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like that person; all that matters is that they love them. 

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  1. How old are you?
Heat Shaped Cookies in Front of a Woman's Eyes
Photo by Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels

Stop asking people how old they are! It is impolite. Unless there is a legal reason to ask the age or card someone, for instance, when driving and buying alcoholic drinks or cigarettes, avoid this intrusive question.

Questions about age are irritating because someone might feel like they are being judged for how old they are or how they look. For instance, asking someone who feels like they look older than they actually are can make them feel more self-conscious and insecure.

Furthermore, asking someone’s age makes them feel like you are trying to measure their accomplishments against their age to determine how well they are doing with their life.

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Take Away

Even though it is human nature to be curious and want to learn everything they can, asking overly invasive questions puts people on the spot and makes them feel uncomfortable. The above are only a few intrusive questions you should never ask people, but there are many more awkward questions not to ask. One should do more research on what questions to never ask anyone and avoid making the mistake of hurting other people because of curiosity.

What are other intrusive questions people ask that get on your nerves? What questions do you usually avoid asking people?


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17 thoughts

  1. So interesting, these have really opened my eyes to how frequently we can find ourselves in such awkward encounters. Half the time I think it’s just been instilled into us through generations that these are acceptable questions to ask. I must admit if I think someone is a similar age to me I will ask them how old they are just trying to find common ground but I see how that can also be wrong in many ways.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have been a culprit of asking people some of these questions too. The best thing we can do is to avoid asking people personal questions and instead wait for them to volunteer information if they choose to. Thank you so much for reading, Olivia!❤

      Like

  2. 100% agree. Here’s one that irks me: “how much did you pay for …” (especially a big ticket item). I’ll tell you I paid 2 bucks for bread, I won’t tell you how much I paid for my car or my house or that dress …). And in today’s world, “did you take the vaccine” is fast becoming one of those “none o’ your bizniz” questions (it’s been so politicized it’s becoming divisive and could start a fight ☹️)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Like if you’re seriously interested in the price of something someone has, you can avoid asking them how much they paid by just reading the label or brand name of the thing and looking up it’s price.
      The vaccine question has started getting on my nerves too!😠

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, avoid asking people ‘ personal’ questions. Never ask what you yourself are not come answering.One must understand the difference between private, personal and public life if an individual and restrict themselves to what is seen and avoid being too curious to know more.
    Stay blessed Sheri.
    🙏🌹🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like the idea of putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes. If we wouldn’t be comfortable answering the same questions, we shouldn’t ask others.
      Thank you so much for reading, Jas. Stay blessed too🙏

      Like

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