Is it possible to be too nice to people? From a young age, almost everyone is advised to be nice to others. And many of us try to be in order to be considered ‘nice’ people. However, being too nice to everybody is not good as it can harm you or the person you are being nice to. In this post, we shall discuss a few reasons why you should stop being too nice to everyone starting now. But first, what does being nice even mean?
Being a nice person involves being kind, generous, understanding, and sympathetic to other people. If you are a nice person, you would never do anything that could inconvenience or cause another person pain. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? Since we are discussing why you shouldn’t be too nice to everybody, you may be wondering whether you are supposed to start acting like a jerk and being self-absorbed. And the answer is no.
Being nice is good, but only to some extent. The saying too much of anything is bad applies to niceness as well. To avoid the negative consequences of being too nice to everyone, you should know when it is good to be nice and when to show your ‘true colors’. Read on to find out some of the reasons why you should stop being too nice all the time, starting today.
Why You Should Stop Being Too Nice to Everyone
- People will take advantage of you
One of the main reasons why you should stop being too nice to everyone is that it can help you avoid people who could see this quality as a weakness and hence, try to take advantage of you. For example, gold diggers or toxic friends and colleagues who might consider you easy prey to exploit because you are nice.
People are less likely to try taking advantage of you if you aren’t nice to them. So, stop being too nice to everybody and start standing up for yourself more often, set boundaries, and learn how to say no assertively when you don’t agree with someone or when you don’t want to do something.
- You could become an inauthentic person
No one can manage to be nice all the time. You are only human, and your reactions to people and the things around you won’t always be positive. However, since you are trying to be a nice person, you might change your personality or fake things and, in the process, lose the sense of who you are. Therefore, one of the reasons why you should stop being too nice to everyone is that it could lead to an identity crisis and a loss of authenticity.
Stop trying to be someone you are not and just be your true self. Instead of always being too nice, you should show people the real you and let them know what you really think or feel.
READ ALSO: 6 Things That Happen When You Become Unapologetically Yourself
- Being too nice could hold you back
Have you ever wondered why so many successful people are arrogant and often considered jerks? It all comes down to the saying nice guys finish last, even in business and other aspects of life. People who are not nice often go for what they want without caring much about what others will think or feel. On the other hand, nice people care too much and try as much as possible to avoid hurting or letting others down.
As a nice person, you might be reluctant to take risks or go after what you want if it involves competition or confrontation. You could also put everyone else before yourself to avoid causing them pain. But, in doing so, you might miss out on great opportunities for growth. Thus, another reason why you should stop being too nice to everyone is that it could hold you back from achieving your goals.
To avoid getting stuck in life, you should stop being too nice and be ready to take risks that could promote your personal growth, even though you might have to compete or go against someone else’s wishes.
- Being too nice could lead to bad decisions
One of the reasons why you should stop being too nice is that it could influence your decisions. While trying to be a nice person, you might want to please someone and, in the process, make decisions that affect your life negatively.
For example, being too nice as a leader can be bad as it could result in you making poor decisions such as not firing incompetent employees, being too lenient and soft, or hiring people for the wrong reasons.
You should stop being nice all the time and accept that sometimes, you have to make tough decisions even though others might get hurt and disappointed, or you could lose friends.
READ ALSO: 7 Traits That Make Introverts Great Leaders
- People will take you for granted
Your niceness could make people not respect or appreciate you, and thus they might start taking you for granted; that is another reason why you should stop being too nice to everyone.
When you are a nice person, some people may consider you boring and predictable because they know you will never react negatively or unexpectedly to their actions. They could start to take you for granted while assuming you will always be there to help them when they need you and that you will get over it if they hurt you.
Instead of being nice to everybody, know your worth, demand respect, and start reciprocating the energy people give you.
- People might not trust you
No one is that nice without wanting something in return! Humans being the suspicious creatures we are, we can never trust that someone is being nice and doing kind things out of the goodness of their heart. Hence, another reason why you should stop being too nice is that some people might not trust you because they will think you have ulterior motives for your actions.
If you are genuinely only trying to be kind, it is okay to be nice. But not too nice that it surpasses the threshold of what is considered normal niceness in particular situations. When people are suspicious of you for being too nice, they may be cautious about getting close to you or accepting your help.
But who can blame them? People who are overly nice often turn out to be manipulative and want something in return. Maybe not immediately, but at some point. Remember the story of the Trojan horse?
- Being nice could affect your health
Should you really not say anything at all if you don’t have anything nice to say?
Nice people tend to bottle up their negative emotions to avoid burdening others or coming off as rude and hurting others. However, suppressing your negative emotions can compromise your physical health or lead to mental health issues such as stress, anxiety, and depression.
The protection of your health and well-being is another good reason why you should stop being too nice to everyone. Positive and negative emotions are our natural responses to the things happening in our lives, and thus, it is okay to feel and express both. You don’t have to bottle up your negative emotions and continue being nice to people who do you wrong.
READ ALSO: Toxic Positivity: What It Is, Why It Is Harmful, and 5 Ways to Avoid It
- Others rarely return the sentiment
Why am I always there for everyone, but no one is ever there for me when I need them? Although you probably aren’t being nice to get people to notice and compliment your efforts, you could still get frustrated when people don’t appreciate you. You might also begin to expect people to treat you the same way you do them and feel disappointed when they don’t.
Most people aren’t good or kind. Thus, one of the reasons why you should stop being too nice to everyone is that some people simply don’t deserve your niceness. To protect your energy from depletion, you should only be nice to people who respect you and those who appreciate your efforts.
Alternatively, you could choose to do nice things for others without any expectations. This way, you won’t develop resentment when your efforts and sacrifices aren’t reciprocated or appreciated.
READ ALSO: 5 Things to Do When Someone Doesn’t Reciprocate Your Energy
- Honesty is better than niceness
While trying to be nice, some people choose not to tell someone the truth about things they know will hurt them. But most people value honesty, even when it hurts, over being lied to by someone trying to spare their feelings. By lying or omitting the truth, you are only delaying the moment when it all comes out, and by then, things could be worse than they are now.
For example, you might start or stay in a relationship with a person you are not in love with to avoid breaking their heart by telling them the truth about your feelings. But by being dishonest, you put your entire future and happiness on the line.
Honesty is one of the reasons why you should stop being too nice to everyone. Start telling people things like they are, for your sake and theirs. The truth might hurt them, but it is better than the possible greater damage that could happen if you lie to be nice.
- Being nice is exhausting and expensive
“Be nice. It won’t cost you anything,” They say. But have you ever tried to be a nice person for an extended period? If you have, you probably know that it is costly and tiresome, and that is one of the reasons why you should stop being too nice to everyone. Being nice will require you to invest your money, time, and effort with little to no returns.
For example, while being a nice person, you might miss out on opportunities that could make you richer or happier; you may lend people your stuff, and they will damage them and not repair or buy new ones; you could spend your money to help others who probably won’t even appreciate it, and you will waste your time doing things you aren’t really interested in, among many other activities that will just drain your pockets and energy.
If you are always doing nice things for others, you will likely experience burnout or run out of money at some point.
READ ALSO: 10 Ways to Build a Better Relationship with Yourself
How to Stop Being Too Nice to Everyone
- Put yourself first more often
- Set boundaries with people
- Be honest and express your true feelings
- Start standing up for yourself
- Be okay with cutting off toxic people from your life
- Learn to say ‘no’ to things you don’t agree with
- Increase your self-confidence and self-esteem
- Balance respect and likeability
The Bottom Line
And there you have them – the above are some reasons why you should stop being too nice to everyone. So, if being too nice is bad, should you become a jerk? Of course not! It is okay to be nice; just don’t be too nice that you suffer the consequences discussed above.
When trying to be a nice person, you have to remember to set boundaries with people and put yourself first more often. You don’t want to wake up one day later in life to realize you spent so much time pleasing other people and not looking out for your current and future self. So, be nice to people, but avoid being too nice.
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#3 was the most eye opening one for me. I definitely feel like niceness can hold you back and cause you to take longer in achieving your goals than is necessary.
It really can! Thank you so much for reading, Lily-Anne❤
Legit points that I can relate with. Unfortunately, overcoming the people pleaser in me is a constant task I have to work on. Thanks for the reminder!
You’re welcome. And thank you so much for reading, Stuart!❤
Since I stopped people pleasing, I’ve been much happier and I like myself a lot more.
That’s great to hear, Sadiya!❤