Are you the only one who is always going out of your way to make plans or do something for a friend or partner? Or have you ever approached someone excitedly only for them to shoot you down or seem less than enthusiastic to be interacting with you? This happens to many of us, whether in relationships, friendships, or even at work.
It can feel really bad when someone doesn’t reciprocate your energy or put as much effort into maintaining a friendship or a relationship with you as you do. It can drain your energy, kill your mood and result in insecurities and self-esteem issues.
When your energy is not returned, you could start asking yourself questions like, am I boring? Am I asking for too much? Am I not worth it? Why is my energy never reciprocated?
If you are at a loss about what to do when someone doesn’t reciprocate your energy, this post has you covered. Read on to find out how you can deal with people who don’t return the same energy you give them.
5 Things to Do When Someone Doesn’t Reciprocate Your Energy
- Read the signs and act accordingly
Not everyone wants to be your friend, and they might be too polite to tell you this outright. Instead, they could try pushing you away by not reciprocating your energy. Therefore, when someone doesn’t put much effort into being with you or interacting with you, they are probably trying to show you they aren’t interested in you or that they don’t want your company or friendship.
If you are trying to become friends or start a relationship with someone, but they never make plans, are always busy, sound unenthusiastic about meeting up, or never return your calls and texts on time, start reading these signs and back away. You wouldn’t want a one-sided friendship or relationship, would you?
- Match their energy
Why should you be the only one who gives 100% of yourself to people, while they only give you 50% or less? For instance, when you are always the first to text, make plans to hang out, give presents, carry the conversation, or are always there for someone, but you rarely ever get anything from them. Their not returning the energy you give them can drain you emotionally, physically, and mentally.
It’s time to start giving people the same energy they give you to avoid being taken advantage of or becoming resentful in the long run. If a person barely puts in any effort, match their energy. You shouldn’t be the only one who is all in and doing everything for someone.
Reciprocating the same energy you receive from people does not mean you are being petty or playing tit for tat, but it is simply an act of self-preservation. Any relationship is a two-way street and requires effort from both sides to survive.
When someone doesn’t reciprocate your energy, follow their lead and take your power back. If they won’t return your texts or calls, don’t be too fast to text or call them either. When they are being distant, back away as well. You deserve someone who gives as much as they take, not people who likely have main character syndrome.
- Rethink your expectations
Sometimes, our expectations of others are what lead us to disappointment. We expect too much from people, especially friends, and sometimes they are just not as passionate or caring as we are, or we aren’t at the top of their priority list.
As you get older, your responsibilities increase and so do those of your friends. You have to be more understanding when it seems like your friends are not reciprocating the energy you give them. Remember that they also have their own lives and issues they could be dealing with, and that is probably why they are not as fast at responding to your texts or at your beck and call when you need them.
Rethink what you expect from people and adjust your expectations. If they really have no malicious reasons for not returning your energy and it’s just that life got in the way, give them space and be an understanding person…up to a point.
However, if this friend never reciprocates your energy, and it becomes the norm, you might need to reorganize your friends’ list so they aren’t your go-to person anymore or look for more supportive friends who will be there when you need them. After all, why should you have to accept breadcrumbs when you are worth an entire buffet?
- Invest your energy in yourself
If you are the only one who is always prioritizing someone and giving 100% of yourself to them while getting nothing in return, not only are they using you, but you might also lose yourself in the process.
When someone doesn’t reciprocate your energy, you need to take a step back to evaluate your friendship/relationship and whether they are worth as much as you put into them. If not, reclaim your life, dignity, and self-respect by setting boundaries, rediscovering what makes you happy, setting goals for your life, and cutting off toxic relationships and friendships. You deserve more, and you know it. So, don’t settle for less.
- Stay away from them
People who don’t return the same energy you give them are energy vampires and mood killers, and avoiding them is the best way to deal with them. Your mood is usually affected by those you interact and surround yourself with; thus, after interacting with someone who doesn’t reciprocate your energy, you could have a low mood or feel exhausted.
Furthermore, when a person doesn’t reciprocate the same energy you give them, they could make you question yourself even when you haven’t done anything wrong and wonder whether you are good enough or if you are boring.
You don’t need this negativity in your life. To live a more fulfilling life and be happier, you should limit interactions with people who don’t reciprocate your energy.
Successful relationships and friendships are about give and take. This doesn’t mean, give 100% and get 20% in return; it means giving as much energy as you receive. The more you give of yourself, the more you empty your energy bank. When someone doesn’t reciprocate your energy, your energy bank is bound to run out eventually, and you won’t have any energy for yourself either.
Learn to recognize when your energy is not being reciprocated and talk to your partner or friend about it. If they do not change, there is no need to cause unnecessary drama, just remove yourself from that situation.
All relationships require effort from both sides in order to work, so don’t let anyone take advantage of you by letting you do all the work to maintain a friendship or relationship with them. You deserve to receive as much energy as you are giving.
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