Everyone makes mistakes; the difference is in how you choose to deal with your mistakes. Unfortunately, most people have trouble getting over their faults, and instead, they wallow in guilt and blame themselves, and hence they lack inner peace and are unable to move on.

However, not everything that happens is your fault. And even when whatever occurred is a result of your actions, it does not change the fact that it already happened and cannot be changed now. In the worst-case scenario, self-blame can make you feel worthless to the point that you could even entertain suicidal thoughts and engage in other self-destructive behaviors

To regain control over your life and find inner peace, you have to learn that sometimes things happen due to conditions that are out of your control. It is time to forgive yourself and look for a way to bounce back and move on with your life. Here are a few practices that will help you learn how to stop blaming yourself and find inner peace.

How to Stop Blaming Yourself and Find Inner Peace

  1. Take responsibility

Many people mistake self-blame with taking responsibility, but the two couldn’t be more different. Taking responsibility involves accepting and acknowledging your role in the bad thing or mistake that happened. For instance, in a divorce, you can acknowledge that you lied or cheated as a way of taking responsibility.

If you want to learn how to stop blaming yourself, focus on looking for ways to make amends. You will find inner peace and be able to move on when you take responsibility and become accountable for your actions.

  1. Look for other possible causes

What else could have made something turn out the way it did? Before blaming yourself for the bad things in your life or someone else’s, consider all the other possible causes for the event.

For instance, when a colleague gives you an unexpected negative response, think of other reasons that could have resulted in that reply instead of jumping to conclusions that something you did resulted in that reaction.

To learn how to stop blaming yourself and find inner peace, you have to realize that people have other things going on in their life and also different personalities that could make them be too sensitive and take things personally even when they shouldn’t.

  1. Practice self-love

Self-blame goes together with self-criticism. When you blame yourself for everything that happens, you start viewing yourself as ‘bad,’ or ‘flawed,’ and wallow in self-pity. The best things you can do in order to find inner peace include being kinder to yourself, loving yourself, and learning how to stop blaming yourself.

In the words of the anxiety coach, Amanda Huggins, “… inner peace begins with our ability to see and appreciate ourselves holistically; flaws and all.”

  1. Reframe your thoughts

Our mindset has a lot of power over our actions and how we see the world and ourselves. Stop being too hard on yourself by blaming yourself for bad things and harboring negative thoughts. They can become self-fulfilling prophecies.

If you want to learn how to stop blaming yourself, you should reframe your thoughts and focus on positive things about yourself, such as your hobbies and good personality traits. When you master the art of self-love, peace, self-esteem, and confidence will follow.

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  1. Forgive yourself

Taking responsibility is only half the journey of learning how to stop blaming yourself. You have to forgive yourself for mistakes you have made in the past as well. Forgiveness is a powerful tool that you can utilize to get past the situation.

Failure to practice forgiveness leads you on a self-blaming journey filled with negative energy and haunted by the memories of past mistakes. Blaming yourself for everything holds you back and makes it hard for you to move on. To get unstuck in your life, forgive yourself for judging and condemning yourself, for the faults, for wallowing in guilt, and for causing so much pain to yourself.

By forgiving yourself and learning how to stop blaming yourself, you will find inner peace. You will feel as though you have been relieved of a heavy burden, and you can then love yourself more and live an authentic life that is fulfilling.

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  1. Learn, let go, and move on

You made a mistake. You took responsibility and forgave yourself. Now, life must go on. You are only human and making mistakes is natural.

Since you cannot do anything to change what you already did, your next step in learning how to stop blaming yourself is to learn from the event and move on. You will avoid repeating the same mistakes, minimize your feelings of self-blame, and finally, find inner peace and live a more fulfilling life.

You hurt yourself the most when you keep holding onto past mistakes and grudges. You cannot keep holding burning charcoal and expect it not to burn you. Let it go and find comfort in something that makes you feel good and alive, then keep moving forward.

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Final thoughts

No one is perfect, and everyone is bound to make mistakes from time to time. What matters is how you choose to live from that point onward. You must learn how to stop blaming yourself for those mistakes because self-blame and wallowing in self-pity are a waste of time.

Self-blame prevents your growth as a person and deprives you of your happiness. Use the above tips to learn how to stop blaming yourself and find inner peace. However, if you cannot move past blaming yourself, it will be good to seek help from a professional who will help you develop positive thoughts and teach you how to practice self-love, forgiveness, and letting go.


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